Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Kieron- Who I Am

I live life the way I want to. Mom can get drunk all she wants, and call me so that I can drop out of my most important class just for me to pick her up. She'd be slurring the whole way home, and I just hold tightly onto the steering wheel, controlling the feeling of smacking her in the face. She wouldn't remember a single thing besides the pain.
Dad on the other hand was just a whole new story- druggies and his little smokers. Mom probably doesn't even know whether or not he's cheating behind her back. I've seen him with more than one girl a billion times, but I give up. What's the point of saying something, if you're not going to be heard? That's why I don't talk. The bitter silence awakened through childhood, and will stay till the day I die.
School was a pain in the ass. Tough luck. My grades began to drop as I entered high school. I was supposed to graduate last year, but I never really did. I was supposed to be in college. I was supposed to be far away from my parents, where I could find peace, and perhaps find a reason to speak.
I didn't need anyone anymore. I'm who I am, and I guess it's going to stay that way. I didn't need to go to no college. I'll grab those bags and hit the road, and maybe never return. After all, home is where the heart is. And my heart has burned here. This ain't no home.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Writing Prompt

"Some aspects of coming of age are pain and loss, disappointment and disillusionment..."
Oh heck yes. I've been through so much this year and right now I'm in this deep hole where I just want to sit be lazy and do nothing else besides just that. I give up on school, my mind is lost somewhere far away. All the things that had happened to me are so unexpected, I was so unaware of what I was supposed to do. I hated it all. I still hate it all. But I'm not making this big hole thing get bigger, because if it does...I'm screwed.
I'm losing so much. One piece at a time. I already lost my hobbies, my talents, what makes me...well me! My mother told me I had to give up on painting as we move, because the renovated place doesn't need any sloppiness, any little marks of paint, crayons and pastels. Basically all my favorite things. That's a huge loss in my world.
I gave up on writing. My writing is useless unneeded and unwanted. My wonderful pieces of art have been thrown away in the friggin' virtual trash can with no way to retrieve them again. They're lost. Oh great, yeah after two years of writing's worth is thrown away. You were an itty bitty closer to finishing that two hundred page novel that was dear to you and somebody just accidentally rebooted your computer so you never see it ever again.
Woohoo. I lost my talents. My heart crushed, my personality broken, what else? I don't need any more. I give up. I've lost the things that were the closest to me so why still go on if those things are unwanted now?

I've lost so much. So many things that were important, and a sure fact is that now that I've lost them, I'm never going to turn around and look for them. You don't look for things that you know for a sure fact are lost. And so, I'm not going to look.


Everyone is burdened with a issue as they approach the high school years of their school career. The issues aren't always that bad, I mean bullying is bad, peer pressure as well, but then again these issues aren't really having something done about them. They begin to fade away since no one really seems to care.
Why do these issues have to come up in high school, or school altogether. Why couldn't everyone treat one another fairly? But nobody wants to stop. Nobody wants to care. That's where Speak comes in. Speaking makes a difference. And maybe if Miranda had just spoke for once to someone she knew she could trust, the dark hollowness within her would begin to smudge and then at some time it would just fade away.
Fading away doesn't mean that there would be scars left over from the battle.

Miranda enters high school- a fourteen year old or so with a terrible secret she isn't sure about. There are a million questions circling her mind: Why am I betrayed by my best friend Rachelle? Why doesn't anyone believe me? Was I really raped?
Image yourself in that position where everyone hates on you for calling on the cops- who busted the best party of the summer. Does anyone know why you called? Why would you ruin a party that everyone loved, that you knew everyone loved?
How would you like it if the question edged in your mind, your heart racing a million times a minute. Was I really raped?

Miranda, spoke. She did speak at some point, thinking that trusting her best friend would be okay. That nothing will happen, that maybe Rachelle will have pity and do something about it. Surprise, surprise, friends that were friends before sometimes will not be the same friends before.
High school brings confusion, especially for Miranda. She's lost a best friend, had gotten raped by one of the most popular guys at school: Andy Evans.
She hates the chilling, simple, name. Hating every part of it. He's it.
And she doesn't want to be anywhere near it. But then again who would?

That was it...nobody trusting her, everyone whispering names, her grades reaching down the dark, muddy earth. She needed to do something, get herself together. Pull herself out of her problems. Think about the sunny side. Think hope.

She does it. But not everybody has the guts to live in school with that sort of an issue. She tells someone who tells the other and eventually it goes on and on until Andy Evans realizes.
Miranda will stand up.
And win.
And she did.

Maybe if there are problems in life- you just have to tell someone. Maybe even her parents, who Miranda didn't even tell. Speaking to someone trustworthy makes a difference, but thinking about it before saying something is also important.

Make a difference in somebody's life- especially if someone tells you something important. Maybe you should wake up, open your eyes, and do something.
Problems come in life, but dealing with them and telling someone, or maybe standing up to the truth would be the best way to confront it.
After all...
You don't want the same to you.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Writing Prompt #2

I don't know the proompts on the list were, so I'm just going to make up my own question even if it's already there.
Why do teenagers choose the paths that they choose?

Okay. This is a question that runs on my mind everyday. Why am I making the choices that I am? Or whether or not if I actually mean what I'm saying or doing. My life is kind of the "uck" side. Trying to escape the large bubble that has no doorways or no way out is a tough situation. But nobody ever told you that you wouldn't be able to change that shape around and turn it into something a bit more different. Who ever told you that you can't change that bubble into something different? And maybe you can pop that bubble and escape it.

Okay...enough of this bubble stuff. It might get you a bit confused.

Some people make the worst decisions they can possibly can knowing the consequences yet they still do it. What's in it in the end for them? For instance, some people think doing drugs is a brilliant way to live. A way to make yourself shine amongst the other punks who don't seem to be doing the things your doing- just because they aren't cool like you.


A friend told me this: "Being yourself isn't hard at all. Being like someone else is tougher than you think. Burden after burden. So why not just be who you are. There's nobody else out there who's a Fatima Khokhar, besides the one I'm looking at."

So why go out and take the wrong path just because you receive the attention, receive all those problems that you wouldn't have suffered through if you were yourself.

Now the kid who decides that being themself is the path they want to choose are those people who have serious guts and want to be themselves because being themselves is easy are the people who seem to go on further in life and seem it enjoy it more.

Choose the path you think is right and don't choose the path that you want to choose because everyone else seems to be choosing.

Screw those people. Live life with you in control. Have fun, live within the rules and life cannot be much more unique than that.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Coming of Age

Question #3: Who was I? Who am I? Who do I want to be?
I'm myself, will be myself, and will stay myself. The person who can be the best at being you is you! Followers are nobodies, they just lost themselves in the long term goal of finding out who they really are. So instead they decide they want to be somebody else just because they cant seem to figure out who they are currently as a teenager. The issue that runs through most of the teenagers minds these days are: I want to be the cool kid, I want to be the trendsetter, or I want to be the most ultimate person there can be out there, so ultimate that everyone will want to be me.
Oh who cares?!
The most important goal to achieve is to figure out who you really are and whether or not who you are is who you want to be.
Therefore, I come to the part in which I blog about who I really want to be. I want to be myself. Currently, I'm lost in myself, trying to figure out who I want to be. I'm confused. I'm lost. It's true to every teacher, especially Ms. Galang, who began to realize that I was changing into something useless. Full of excuses, issues, and problems. I'm trying to regain control, and click in the correct key that will reveal the road or path that I would like to choose.
Welcome to my confused fucked up world.(Okay I realized that I wasn't allowed to curse but then again sometimes cursing needs to give an emphasis onto the fact that life is just life. Living it is important. But then again living it the right way is also important.)

So I get to the point in which I tell everyone that life is just life. I was a baby before, innocent, new to the world, not knowing what was going on around me. Just that I was a child, innocent. Now, I'm a adolesence, growing to love the real world, and becoming somebody new and totally unique.

I am, I was, I will always be me.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Tis' The Final (Sucky) Draft

     Red is the color of many things. Love, anger, hate and all of these things combined into something magical. Not always is there a happily ever after, not always is there "true love," there's always something that has to come in between. The drama in the world always affects a person in different ways. There are always issues that have to screw things up. But true love cannot burn- it only burns if it isn't meant for it. There's only one love that I've seen that is everlasting. Romeo and Juliet's. They are lovers of such a young age yet cannot seem to think about life another way without each other. Now today, during modern day, people think that they are so much in love that they would do anything for each other. Well…if a person who claims they love their “lover” is in danger and only one person could be saved, would they save that person? No, they rather save themselves. Yet, when you read Romeo and Juliet you can see how deep and how affectionate their love is, compared to the people of modern day.
     Reading Romeo and Juliet for the second time, I was engulfed in a world that didn't seem so vast the first time reading it. I took it as a bunch of young lovers who were stupid and didn't realize what life was and how they were using it. 
     When I read Romeo and Juliet the first time there were very little emotions that immersed in my mind. Romeo- a total idiot who keeps getting depressed just because he can't find true love? Love is different from the way Romeo thinks of it. He falls in love with one girl- then switches his gaze to another, and at the same time expects the girl to love him back, so that he can live happily ever after.  
     Not so much Prince Charming.      
      But one thing I don't understand about Shakespeare's play was why he made it unreal? (MY OPINION!) Is there really some event that ended up being as true as this one? Or was Shakespeare feeling this way when he got married?
      That got me confused, and these are some of the questions I'm trying to unveil when I'm reading Romeo and Juliet again. Hopefully Romeo and Juliet will become a bit clearer and make much more sense.

     After starting to re-read Romeo and Juliet I guess I found out what Shakespeare is trying to say: there's love out there for everyone. Everyone has a soul mate. Everyone will have someone they can't stop thinking about. Maybe the day will be tomorrow or maybe it's today. It's there. And it will come to you...I guess Shakespeare was trying to indicate that in his play, and he emphasized it quite well. But at the same time the same love went for him and his life, so I guess he displays his own life for us to follow and that’s what made Shakespeare’s “romantic,” “tragic,” and “comedic” play something more than just a play- perhaps even a life lesson.

50 POSTS!!! OMFG!!!